Written on September 26, 2014.

In the Midst 

“In the midst of a world of light and love, of song and feast and dance, Lucifer could find nothing to think of more interesting than his own prestige”

– CS Lewis

Some months ago, Pappa began to speak to our home base Blue Flame family about worship, saying something that impacted us all greatly. I have remembered what He said as, “If you are not worshipping at home, you can’t truly worship corporately”. He said that when we attempt that, our focus will always become ourselves. Distractions, annoyances and a lack of unity will abound. The volume of the drums, the yelp of a child or a song that we don’t deem our favorite will be enough to lead us to worship another god, ourselves. 

As we entered into 2013, Pappa began talking about worship again, which led me to go back to my journal and read new what He said. His actual words were, “If you are not worship at home, you cannot be worship corporately”. Then I got it. He didn’t want us to learn to worship better, but to become worship. If we purpose ourselves to become worship, when we come together, we each release an aspect of Him, a sound, a color, a fragrance that overpowers “us” and overwhelms Him. 

On New Year’s Eve (2012), the CS Lewis quote above was highlighted to me and I knew what He was saying in it simplest form was that He didn’t want us to miss Him and the incredible things He releases when a people journey together into His Presence and choose to never leave. 

On New Year’s Eve, we had a celebration. Worshipping from one year to the next. As we cohabited in The midst of Him, a sweet little girl named Joy came and wanted me to pick her up. Joy is almost four and greatly adored by us all.

Born with down syndrome, we have watched her grow and heal step by step, daily bread by daily bread. Just a few weeks before, her two sisters received some sweet nuggets for her which resulted in her speaking for the first time. Her first words, “I love you Mommy”.

Unable to resist, I picked Joy up and I understood, truly, what becoming worship meant. If I raised my arm, she raised hers. If I swayed, she swayed. And then in a divine moment I will never forget, when I sang, she sang. I heard a voice and began to look around. I never suspected it was her. Three words in her repertory didn’t seem enough for what I was hearing. I looked for people and angels, finding none close enough for the voice to be theirs. And then I looked down at Joy’s face, eyes closed, lips moving and perfect words pouring out. “Crown Him love. Crown Him alive and well. Crown Him God of our salvation." 

I was undone. And I understood. In that instant He explained what He meant when He said He was going to reveal the many aspects of worship to for us to dive into this year. All so we can dive deeper into Him. In that moment, I was so glad I choose worshipping Him at home, where there are so many other things to enter into. 

Because of those moments, I was able to enter into the moment before me. The moment I saw Him in a

little girl named Joy. The moment I was invited into being a part of what He was doing with and through Joy. The moment joy became real!